Many couples divorce each year due to several reasons. Some people tend to move on too quickly following a breakup with someone that they once cared for deeply. An experienced Raleigh-based psychologist shares 10 after divorce tips to help determine when you are mentally and emotionally ready and healthy enough to move on following a breakup.
Understand That Healing Takes Time
Although humans often say that they fall in love with another quickly, it is important to understand that healing from a divorce or breakup takes time. All too often people move from one bad relationship almost immediately to the next. This is unhealthy, and there are some great tips to move on after divorce or another relationship breakup.
Take Time to Go Through Stages of Grief and/or Loss
It is crucial to take the necessary time to go through the stages of grief and/or loss. Many divorced individuals do not see their relationship end as something that they need to grieve and come to terms with. Society today often pushes people to get over bad relationships by keeping so busy there isn’t time to mourn the loss.
Don’t Hurry to Find a Rebound Relationship
Sadly, more divorced people tend to hurry headlong right into a rebound relationship. This could be due to internal feelings that are unresolved or just a habit. Most reputable relationship experts caution people not to be so quick to fall in love without taking steps to determine that relationship is a healthy one.
Accept That It Is Alright to Feel Anger, Loss, Sadness & Fear
Some individuals try to minimize the hurt and other undesirable feelings that tend to occur when a serious relationship breakup or divorce ends that relationship suddenly. It is essential to accept that it is alright to feel anger, loss, sadness or fear.
In fact, these feelings are completely normal. While it is unhealthy to wallow in self-pity and/or bitterness for too long, it is necessary to address these internal feelings to learn from mistakes and move forward confidently when the time is right.
Don’t Let a Relationship Define You
Many individuals make the mistake of allowing their relationships to define them. This is why so many tend to repeat their same relationship mistakes over and over again. It is important to understand that a person can be healthy, happy, and whole without needing to be in a serious relationship of marriage to accomplish these things.
Fill Your Time with Activities & Interests You Enjoy
In the aftermath of a sad or bad breakup or divorce, it can help to fill your time with activities and interests that you enjoy. This can give you time to assess your relationship skills, get to know yourself again and keep you from sitting alone at home with nothing to do but feel bad. However, it can be unhealthy to fill your time with too many things that keep you from truly healing and accepting the loss.
Let Go of This Pain & Try to Forgive Your Ex & Yourself
At some point, a person needs to let go of their pain and unfulfilled hopes and expectations of the failed or lost relationship. It is important to try to forgive your ex and yourself to move on after divorce. This does not mean acceptance or forgetting bad behaviors. Forgiveness is necessary for your own health and peace-of-mind.
Understand That You Deserve Happiness & Love
Some individuals develop the false belief that they somehow do not deserve to find true happiness and love. This is untrue, and everyone deserves these things.
Take Time to Know Yourself & Recognize Self-Defeating Habits
A caring psychologist from Briar Creek advises everyone to take time to know yourself and recognize any self-defeating relationship habits. Building better relationship skills can help individuals immensely.
Seek Support & Allow Yourself to Love Again When Ready
Seek out professional mental and emotional health counseling and support when needed. Then allow yourself to love again when ready.